Impatient

Today, I am feeling rather impatient.  I was hoping to have received our corrected home study by now.  I got an email from the home study agency on the 16th saying that they would send it out within the week.  It does not typically take mail sent via standard mail that long to get here, but I would've hoped they would have expedited it.  Apparently not.  :-\

Yesterday morning as we were walking out the door to take DJ & L to Kindergarten, L tells me that she wants her "little girl from Crescent Moon" to be here already.  Completely out of the blue!!  Talk about tugging at my heartstrings!  DJ tried to tell her that she could have Z be her "invisible friend", but L didn't want her to be invisible.  She wanted her to really be here for real.  *insert sound of heart breaking*  SO DO I, L, SO DO I!!!  :*(

Last night, I dreamed that I visited her at her orphanage.  Thanks to our "friend", the Hague convention, any contact with her is forbidden at this point in the process.  (I do have a few tricks up my sleeve for the day we can initiate contact!)  At any rate, in my dream I was sneaking through some large industrial-looking kitchen not even knowing where I was or why I was sneaking.  Then, I came out into a large garden/yard where there were lots of children running around playing.  Another couple was there and one of the workers handed them a child who might have been around 18 months and the worker was telling them that they didn't believe in diapers, so if the child needed to potty, to just take the child outside and hold him over some grass and he would do his thing.  (This is not far-fetched, actually)  The parents agreed and happily took their new child and left.  I was a little jealous of how easy they made everything look!  I explained to the worker who we were and that we were working on adopting Z and that we were still too early in the process to see her, but that I was wondering how she was doing.  The worker invited me into the fence (the other couple had to stay on the other side) and told me to wait for just a minute.  I was a bit afraid of getting into some sort of trouble, so I nervously looked around for Z, but didn't see her.  I couldn't resist and played with a few of the nearby kids while I waited.  The worker came back holding Z!!  I wasn't sure what to think, but she told me I could go ahead and take her!  Z was very shy and her hair was (badly) cut short and she wasn't your typical little girl from "Crescent Moon", but to me she was the most beautiful sight!  I woke up not knowing if I actually ended up taking her with me or following the law and leaving her there until we could legally gain custody.  But, just getting to "see" her was so reassuring!  I can't wait for the day when we will actually get to meet her!!