A Precious Dream

I don't have much time to post because I need to leave in a few minutes for an appointment, but I just couldn't wait until I had more time.  Last night I dreamt about the time when it will be just Z & me travelling to America to visit family, get her passport, and have her eyes checked.  Truthfully, this part of the process has scared me because I don't know how she will react to anything and I don't know how she will handle the stress that she will undoubtedly be going through.  I have been trying to stay practical and a bit detached about how that "week" will really be.  Then I had a dream... It was SO comforting!!  She was very sweet and kind and gentle and oh-so-patient!  She didn't know any English, yet she trusted me.  Apparently, her foster family or the orphanage had tried to teach her some English, but it wasn't great.  The 1 thing she "knew" in English was to say "I love you", which she said to me often.  Her pronunciation was certainly terrible as learning it from someone who also knew no English, but it still melted my heart in a way I never thought possible.  I already love this girl as my own daughter, but "hearing" her say she loved me just made it that much stronger.  Waiting to meet her is now the most "scary" part of the process because it is that much harder now.  And I certainly won't be disappointed if this dream doesn't come true literally.  Heck, N is 3 and he still doesn't say he loves me, but I know he does.  It's one of our favorite games actually!  Every time I tell him I love him, he kisses me then shakes his head "nuh-uh" with an adorable smile.  Love it!!  

Speaking of thinking practically, I made an appointment last night for Z to see a pediatric ophthalmologist at the U of I Chicago.  They said to expect the appointment to take around 2 hours!  Yikes!!  Then, there's a chance that after that, they will refer us to neuro-ophthalmology, possibly on the same day.  I hope she's awake enough to be able to tolerate that well.  :-\